Bah. Humbug.

I am feeling like a bit of a scrooge today. So, if today is your favorite holiday of the year, you should probably not read the rest of my post.

Normally, I am all for holidays. Love 'em. But today has me in a bit of a funk. I mean, I do appreciate a holiday that involves massive amounts of kiddies on sugar highs dressed up in poorly fit costumes made of synthetic fabrics. I do. But there is something about it being on a Friday night and all the "older kiddies" who don't dress up in costumes and come to your door and threaten to key your car if you don't fork over expensive candy that gets my panties in a wad. I lie awake all night wondering if some one's proudly displayed jack-o-lantern will be smashed all over my front porch the next morning. Sadly, I was so excited when our porch light burned out earlier this week because I knew that it meant tonight, I can plan on shutting the front door when it gets dark and not having to worry about the late night trick or trickers who leave the treats for me to find the next day.

When you think about it, there is something very bizarre about walking up to a stranger's home and demanding candy and taking whatever the homeowner gives you. I know, I know, in theory, you only go in your neighborhood and it's your friendly neighbors who hand out all kinds of goodies. But somehow, (in my neighborhood anyway) it has evolved into a mini van screeching up in front of our house, about nineteen unknown kids unloading and running up to the door and snatching all the candy from your hands and running away without a even uttering a thank you or a happy halloween.

You should know, my loving husband on the other hand, LOVES this holiday. He dressed up to go to work today as the charming homicidal maniac- The Joker. Of the Heath Ledger variety. Complete with the green hair and everything. Gave me shivers. (I am insisting he dress up as a bunny or something next year to make up for this). I also told him I would not meet him for lunch today as I am wearing a boring orange shirt as a small tribute to today's festivities and I would be embarrassed to be seen dining with a killer. He just smiled and quoted the movie, which I have not seen and therefore did not understand his reference. I am at least hoping he wins best costume or something in the office. I am also hoping there really is a costume contest in his office and they aren't just playing a trick on him. Which, would be kind of funny.

My adult husband dressing up brings me to my next point. College age and ahem- older adult women who use Halloween as an excuse to show ridiculous amounts of skin. I am sounding like a grandma here- but hey, isn't it kind of weird you use this holiday as an excuse to bring out your inner tramp? It's supposed to be about kids and candy and carving pumpkins, not Nurse Betty and how-low-can-her-uniform-go type stuff.

I hope I am not painting myself as too much of a Halloween-Hater...as we all know, black and orange are some of my favorite colors. I just wish it were back to the basics of innocent fun and of course, candy. I do appreciate the creative costumes, however. I really do. The today show featured two little boys dressed up as Misty May Trainer and Kerry Walsh, the volley ball champions. It was pretty cute and very creative.

So, if you are in the mood to use your creative talents, genuinely appreciate the candy I am handing you, and won't even think about smashing my pumpkins- then I say, Happy Halloween! If you would prefer to cause havoc on my front porch, not bother to dress up or worse yet, dress with less and then not offer a festive greeting or a simple thank you, then I say, Bah. Humbug.